My old life

I realised just today that I had completely forgotten about Rebekah's birthday. So I wished her by email today. I have not been able to get in touch with her by phone yet. I think I will need to try again. It was Karthik's birthday as well and so I sent a mail to wish him as well.

Not much else happening around here. Ramki spoke to me today and said that I might end up going to the US to take care of the Knight Ridder project. I am hoping to go because I think it will be the start of another chapter in my life. I think this might be a one way trip for quite some time.

I am finding myself spending more and more time doing things that I ought not to be doing. I am quite free now and that is getting to be a drain on my energy. I am spending time right now trying to learn compiler construction techniques and so on so that I can get started with the Knight Ridder project when that become available. I think we will need to make use of some of the better compiler construction tools for getting the work going.

posted by Prem @ 7:22 AM

Pavithra tells me that things between her and Rebekah are bad now.. they don't seem to be supporting each other anymore. Pavithra feels that Rebekah only shares with her what she has already shared with a lot of people and that she doesn't mean anything special anymore. This is really sad. I hope I can help these two through this. I pray for them.

posted by Prem @ 9:24 AM

I have not been posting much to this site for quite sometime now.. I have not been disciplined enough for that..also, been very busy.

My life is quite alright.. Just got a break through in a few projects that I have estimated - the biggest one being worth close to a crore.. and it is a US based on. I think I might be sent to the US to work onsite with this project.. that is unless there are other agendas going around in the company which I am not privy to.

Daisy site from NZ has started up and so also has the Paradigm Global one.. so thats music to the ears and it gives me the feeling that alas I am contributing significantly to the process. The team does believe that I am useful and that is great news as well.

Today Rajesh asked us - Arun and myself, as to whether we felt that he was adding value to the marketing team. we dilly dallied for a while but I added that he did add value to the team but that the team is lacking direction and that he will need to be willing to take tough calls as well.. because otherwise they will report directly to Ramki bypassing him and that is bad.

Lets see what he has to say about that.

Other than that.. of the happeings of the past week, the most memorable one was meeting Pavithra on Saturday. She called up quite suddenly in the evening to tell me that she wanted to meet me and could I make it for the evening if I didn't have other plans.. I said yes, I would meet her. I was frankly worried if things were going badly at her place or at work.. Apparently, her house affairs are going from bad to worse with her parents living separately now and Harish staying alone at home. He is also headlong into pornography and that isn't great news either. We spent some time at Food court and we talked a lot - mostly about Pavithra wanting to get away from it all by changing jobs. I advised her against it saying that the problem is elsewhere and that she cannot hope to run away from it all.. I think there was another reason as well.. I think I will miss her if she goes away. I don't want her to go away. I don't know if I am in love. I hope not.

I advised her to pray hard. I told her that I pray for her everyday. I know she needs God desperately. (don't we all) and I feel that she is slipping away. I pray that God will save her soul and keep her close to His heart.

Since meeting Pavithra, my mind has been in turmoil - I feel that I am in love with her. I don't want to. God knows that I shouldn't. I hope that she will become a christian and that God will touch her life. But I will have to let go of her. She is not for me..

I am beginning to think that she might be in love with me as well.. I am not sure.. maybe not.

posted by Prem @ 9:11 AM